I am not going to offer you a bunch of platitudes that won’t really make a difference in the long run. You’ll hear enough of them when the time comes. What I will say is this. I have no idea why I was moved to read your story or even send you a note. Sometimes I think God has a hand in things when we least expect it.

My father dying inspired me to become a child/family therapist. In those days, children were just supposed to get it and be okay. Sadly, that is never the case. So, if I were going to suggest one thing to you it would be to get a special box or bowl. I often tell families to use a fish bowl. You have a wonderful opportunity to remember now. Your kids can write down things they remember and their grandma can tell you things she wants them to remember or perhaps experiences with them that are important to her. Write them on a small piece of paper and fold them once and place them in the container. Then, when the waiting ends, and people move on with their lives and you, and your sister, your children and your dad are left alone and the sad times come, go to that container and take out a memory. Remember what you want to remember about that time and what your mom wanted you to remember. And by you I mean your children, your sister, your dad or you can take the time to remember those moments. As the days go by those memories will be met with more fondness than sadness, more laughter than tears and more happy moments as opposed to sad when remembering.